Saturday, November 16, 2013

My Interview with Rich Uncle Pennybags

Interview someone — a friend, another blogger, your mother, the mailman — and write a post based on their responses.

So, yeah, I am sick today and confined to home, and no one is online for me to interview (being that it is Saturday and most people have lives).  My only alternative was to interview Hubby, but that is too boring, so I had him channel one of his favorite board game characters, Rich Uncle Pennybags.

He was quick to inform me that he does have a real name.  His given Christian name is Milburn Pennybags, but he never aspired to be a monopolist.  He actually wanted to be a dentist, but would YOU go to Doctor Pennybags for a root canal?  Not likely.  So, just like girls named Destinee Peaks, his future was decided for him, all based on his name.

Because he is awfully fond of that get out of jail free card, I asked about his first run in with the law.  As a scrappy young teenager, he stumbled upon some fellows wildly fond of  a newly marketed licorice candy, known as the Lick Whip.  The only problem was, it was in short supply.  Milburn promised the fellows he could obtain it for a modest investment fee.  In truth, he had no supplier, and no way to supply; but as word spread that Milburn had connections, new investors would throw money at him.  Whenever an investor complained that the product was never delivered, he simply used a new investor's money to pay off the complainant. Fortune smiled upon him when the local mercantile got in a shipment and Milburn was able to deliver to his remaining investors while making a mint.  His luck ended when the constable caught wind of the scheme.  Good ole Officer Ponzi.

Pennybags says that his favorite gameplay token is the racecar.  He claims there is something exciting and freeing about being on the open road.  Also, it reminds him of the time when he had a midlife crisis, left his wife Madge, bought a Ferrari and struck out on Route 66.  He met a buxom redhead along the trip, and traveled with her for a while.  Good thing he had one of those get out of jail free cards in the glove compartment, since the little lady lied about her age.  Ah, memories.

When talking about the shaky housing market and government bailouts, he states that "bailouts are for chumps and the weak.  It is all well and good when building houses on Pennsylvania Avenue, but when I saw hotels going up on Boardwalk, I knew it was too big to fail."  And that is just not how he rolls.  Literally.

As far as the future is concerned, Milburn is looking forward to retirement.  He says he will live out the rest of his days with his scottie dog, Stocks, and his cat, Bonds, in a nice little senior living community up in Marvin Gardens.