Monday, June 7, 2010

Thankful for.... restlessness

Often, my sleep cycles get thrown out of whack.  Lately, I have been staying up really late like 1 or 2 am, and then back up at 7 when Hubby leaves for work.  After several days, this catches up with me, and I end up taking a nap.  This is precisely what happened yesterday, and I ended up napping from 7 pm to 9:30 pm, which of course meant I was wide awake until the wee hours of the morning.

I tried to use the time wisely, catching up on blogs, and writing some of my own, then starting a new book, even doing a load of laundry.  By 2 am, I decided I should try to go to bed.  So I crawl into bed, which of course wakes Hubby.  We talk for a few moments, then he goes right back to sleep.  I unfortunately can not just fall off to sleep like him, so I decide to use the time to talk to God.

I talk about how terrible I have been about making time for Him lately, and apologize.  I tell Him about the woman I want to be, and ask Him for help in being that woman, and the woman He created me to be.  Suddenly, my mind was filled with the most vivid image of me standing in a large green fields, clothed in long flowing robes, and a mighty wind begins blowing.  My hair is tossed, and the cloth of my robes whips around me, and objects are flying past me, dark and ugly objects, but I still stand, and the sun shines on me.  This image gave me so much peace, it was unlike anything I ever experienced.  It inspired me to write this:

Blown Away

I come to You, humbled,
Begging for newness
Sullied by sins that stick like glue
This life of temptation has nothing to offer
But I don’t know how to break free

And with one little breath from Your lips
My sin is blown away
Yes Your holiness has them blown away
But Your strength and love leave me standing

I cry to You, damaged,
Longing for healing
Battered by words whose pain is still real and
Bring tears to my eyes, from all those who scorn me
And I don’t know how to feel peace

And with one little breath from Your lips
My pain is blown away
Yes Your holiness has it blown away
But Your strength and love leave me standing

I crawl to You, frightened,
Life lived so worthlessly
Knowing Your sacrifice, a Son who will bless
He gave His life willingly,
A gift that was meant just for me

And with one wooden cross and three nails,
My heart is blown away,
Yes Your love, it leaves me blown away,
But Your loving arms keep me standing.

Now, I know I am no poet, but this best describes the image God placed in my mind last night, and writing this just felt like something I should do.  I wish I knew something about writing music, I think it would make a great song.  So, I am thankful I was so restless last night, because it was in Him that I received peace.