Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Just Take a Deep Breath and Write

What’s the thing you're most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

Oh this is easy.  I am scared to write a book.  The one thing I want to do the most is the one thing I am scared to do.  It has become a recurring theme in my posts over the past few years.

Vintage typewriter and books
What if I write something and everyone hates it?  What if I am terrible?  What if I have zero talent?  What if no one wants to read it?  What if everyone realizes that, when it comes to writing, I am a hack?

You see, I think some of the blog posts I write are pretty clever.  No one else really seems to agree.  I have never been one to write my blog for anyone other than myself, so it never bothered me that not many people read this, but sometimes I write something that I think is really worthwhile, and less than 25 people see it.  Part of the problem is I have squashed any communication with readers by closing my comments.  I have my reasons for this, ones I will not go into.  People can still comment on the links to these posts on Facebook and G+, so there could still be communication.  But unless I pay Facebook lots of money, most of the time my posts never show on people's timelines.  So, not many people read this, and of those that do, no one really gives me feedback.  My fear is that this has led to my having an altered perception of my writing ability, or lack thereof.

So, what would it take to get me to start writing for realsies?  Lots and lots of encouragement.  Hubby encourages me every day, as do a few other people.  But I am still lacking confidence in my abilities.  I know I need to just get over it and do it.  I wish there was a magic incantation or pill that would make me get over this fear, but there is not.

So, I will just keep whining, and taking baby steps, and hope that someday, I will get over this fear.  I suspect it will begin when I just take a deep breath, and write.

NaBloPoMo November