Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass ... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him
Patience has never been one of my strong suits. When I was a kid, I was impatient to grow up. When I was learning a new task, I was impatient to be the best at it. When single I was impatient to get married. There will always be something I want, and for which I will be impatient.
I am now impatient to learn patience. You would think at my age I would be a little better at it. I would have more understanding of life, a thicker skin, and more patience. But I am still waiting for those receive those gifts. I hate that I get so easily frustrated, but I think I am at least learning to deal with it better. In the past, my defense was to lash out and hurt people, because I had been hurt so many times by others. Now, to my credit, I do not do that. I may seethe on the inside, but I do not let those words leave my lips. Instead, I try to go into shutdown mode. I want to retreat from everyone, so that no one can get hurt. Clearly, this is not a good tactic. What I wish I could do is exhibit a little patience, and use the appropriate words to to work through the storms.
So today, I pray for patience. I pray that God sees the desires of my heart, and helps me express them in a better way. I pray He shows me His will and path for my life, and reveals them to me in His perfect timing. I pray with confidence that He will grant me patience and serenity until that time comes.
