Hubby and I were out to dinner last night at one of our favorite places, in part to celebrate our anniversary of our very first date. In fact, the place we were eating was where we held our rehearsal dinner for our wedding. It is an awesome little Italian place. We had both skipped lunch, because we had been busy all day, so I had an abundance of points to use up, and could have had pretty much anything I wanted. Still, I ordered a steak salad, no cheese, raspberry vinaigrette on the side, with a tall glass of water. Hubby ordered a sandwich and fries, and an appetizer of fried ravioli.
When the fried ravioli came out, he looked at me, frowned, and immediately apologized for tempting me. I said, honey, it is fine, I can have 1. And that is what I did. I had 1. And I savored it. I ate it in 6 slow, sumptuous bites, dipped in a bit of ranch dressing. It was 3 points, with the dressing, and totally worth it. A tiny splurge, which I allowed myself. And I stopped after 1.
While waiting for my dinner salad, I noticed people sitting at a table near us being served their dinner course. They had already eaten ranch dressing laden salads. Now they were eating large cuts of prime rib, baked potatoes with butter and sour cream, butter laden green beans, pasta with meat sauce, and bread. That menu was repeated for EACH PERSON!!! It made me a little bit nauseated, actually, how much food was brought out for just 3 people. Probably more points were on that table than I consume in a whole week. Hubby noticed a frown on my face, and asked me what I was thinking about, and I could not help but blurt out "I am thinking about how many points they are eating". I did not say it loudly, and I let it go, but in the car ride home, I decided to clarify, and this is what I explained.
How other people eat is totally their business. But it really hits home to me now how badly I have been eating for so long. I did not put this weight on or develop these bad habits overnight, and the situation will not reverse itself overnight either, but I am almost appalled at how terrible I have eaten in the past. Knowing that in the past one trip to a fast food place would equal the same about of nutrition I now can account for over the course of a whole day is almost shameful. I am starting to really learn to think about what I am putting into my body, and why I chose to put those things into my body. And to be honest, I enjoy the food I eat so much more now, because it makes me feel so much better.
I asked Hubby if he thought it was weird that it bothered me how many points those other people were eating, and he said no, but it would have been weird if I had said something to them about it. I do not think I will ever get to that place, at least I hope not, because it is not my business what other people do, it more bothered me how it made me reflect on my past behavior. Where I am at right now is I am actually struggling to force myself to get all my points in each day. I have a tendency to store my points up and have a lot left over at the end of each day. This week I have been using more than I had in the past and as a result, I am losing a lot slower than I had been in previous weeks, so it is frustrating, but everyone is telling me this is what I should be doing, so I guess that is what I should do. All I can do is keep plugging along.
